Gonquillfadpaghap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome porpoise.

Gonquillfadpaghap created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Gonquillfadpaghap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonquillfadpaghap, she will manifest in front of you.

Gonquillfadpaghap's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gonquillfadpaghap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear fawn skirts.

4. Always obey Gonquillfadpaghap's priests.

5. Retreat if five porpoises approach from the east.