Fatpagquagpomvenbif is a god.

It takes the form of a small, weak squirrel.

Fatpagquagpomvenbif created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatpagquagpomvenbif, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fatpagquagpomvenbif, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fatpagquagpomvenbif's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fatpagquagpomvenbif's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about gravity.