Sidcimkam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, overgenerous alligator.

Sidcimkam created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sidcimkam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sidcimkam, she will have a low opinion of you.

Sidcimkam's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Sidcimkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt hamsters.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always look after injured ants.

5. Always stare at clouds.