Fossflatcan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, flying monkey.

Fossflatcan created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossflatcan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fossflatcan, she will destroy your favourite star.

Fossflatcan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fossflatcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fossflatcan.

4. You must pray to Fossflatcan four times a day.

5. Never talk about fire.