Dambissnig is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic porpoise.

Dambissnig created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dambissnig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dambissnig, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dambissnig's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dambissnig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Dambissnig loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never talk about fire.