Zognabgat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty squirrel.

Zognabgat created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zognabgat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zognabgat, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zognabgat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zognabgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Never look at comets.