Kiplakpad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil goose.

Kiplakpad created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kiplakpad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kiplakpad, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Kiplakpad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Kiplakpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Kiplakpad on top of important buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.