Beptif is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, able faun.

Beptif created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beptif, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Beptif, he will turn you into a rock.

Beptif's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Beptif's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not stand on grass.