Tinmaphug Yattquagtad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating squid.

Tinmaphug Yattquagtad created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinmaphug Yattquagtad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tinmaphug Yattquagtad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tinmaphug Yattquagtad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tinmaphug Yattquagtad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Tinmaphug Yattquagtad loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.