Guncunkabnurtingnadlab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic clam.

Guncunkabnurtingnadlab created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guncunkabnurtingnadlab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Guncunkabnurtingnadlab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Guncunkabnurtingnadlab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Guncunkabnurtingnadlab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Guncunkabnurtingnadlab.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat green fruit.