Ontabstip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless lion.

Ontabstip created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ontabstip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ontabstip, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Ontabstip's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ontabstip's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never paint your arms violet.