Safcutsan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest giraffe.

Safcutsan created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Safcutsan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Safcutsan, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Safcutsan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Safcutsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

4. Run away if six foxes approach from the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.