Bopcanbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental troll.

Bopcanbarn created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopcanbarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bopcanbarn, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bopcanbarn's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bopcanbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about gravity.