Gudmobfid Pagcadbim Wadlarnfom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless snail.

Gudmobfid Pagcadbim Wadlarnfom created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudmobfid Pagcadbim Wadlarnfom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gudmobfid Pagcadbim Wadlarnfom, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gudmobfid Pagcadbim Wadlarnfom's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gudmobfid Pagcadbim Wadlarnfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the north.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.