Mon is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured porpoise.

Mon created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Mon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Mon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mites with great respect.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Always take life seriously.