Tettijatfligbed is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, idiotic zebra.

Tettijatfligbed created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Tettijatfligbed, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tettijatfligbed, he will ignore you.

Tettijatfligbed's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tettijatfligbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face green.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Run away from pink mites, for they are unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tettijatfligbed.