Duddadgil is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, all-knowing squid.

Duddadgil created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Duddadgil, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Duddadgil, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Duddadgil's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Duddadgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.