Zed is a god.
He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-powerful faun.
Zed created a Higgs boson two years ago.
If you believe in Zed, he will give you lots of gold.
If you do not believe in Zed, he will laugh at you.
Zed's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.
Zed's Holy Commandments
1. Do not eat figs.
2. Show mercy to disobedient children.
3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.
4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.
5. Erect five lead sculptures of Zed on top of important buildings.