Yarlcebjan is a god.

It takes the form of a large, vain dryad.

Yarlcebjan created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlcebjan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarlcebjan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yarlcebjan's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Yarlcebjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not cook food in pots.