Voning is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud scorpion.

Voning created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voning, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Voning, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Voning's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Voning's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Put Voning first in all things.