Batwodsog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome dryad.

Batwodsog created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Batwodsog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Batwodsog, he will ignore you.

Batwodsog's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Batwodsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always wear red.