Ligvonkbut is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic faun.

Ligvonkbut created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ligvonkbut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ligvonkbut, he will turn you into a goat.

Ligvonkbut's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Ligvonkbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help sick cats.

5. Never feed grapes to snails while wearing white trousers.