Budjenarp Flanquartjon Laknanpon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil fish.

Budjenarp Flanquartjon Laknanpon created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Budjenarp Flanquartjon Laknanpon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Budjenarp Flanquartjon Laknanpon, she will turn you into a worm.

Budjenarp Flanquartjon Laknanpon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Budjenarp Flanquartjon Laknanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Always pray immersed in water.