Sitdavvad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic turtle.

Sitdavvad created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitdavvad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sitdavvad, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sitdavvad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sitdavvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sitdavvad.

3. Never laugh near great tits.

4. Do not hurt mites.

5. Sitdavvad loves ducks, so they must be respected.