Quimnibominhinjapdagflan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, impressive dog.

Quimnibominhinjapdagflan created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimnibominhinjapdagflan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quimnibominhinjapdagflan, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quimnibominhinjapdagflan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Quimnibominhinjapdagflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Hide from magenta dogs for they are unholy.

3. You must love Quimnibominhinjapdagflan.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.