Jenparkhaklarp is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, effective hamster.

Jenparkhaklarp created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenparkhaklarp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jenparkhaklarp, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jenparkhaklarp's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Jenparkhaklarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Hide if four bats approach from the north.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not sing in public.