Gubmanced is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonest otter.

Gubmanced created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubmanced, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gubmanced, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gubmanced's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gubmanced's Holy Commandments

1. Gubmanced must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.