Gemranjab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate tortoise.

Gemranjab created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemranjab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gemranjab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gemranjab's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gemranjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.