Pogdaphub is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, vain squid.

Pogdaphub created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pogdaphub, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pogdaphub, she will be mildly annoyed.

Pogdaphub's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Pogdaphub's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Always help ants.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away from violet hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.