Panhugvad Watfatlin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless snail.

Panhugvad Watfatlin created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panhugvad Watfatlin, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Panhugvad Watfatlin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Panhugvad Watfatlin's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Panhugvad Watfatlin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not hurt mites.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never hurt great tits.