Dutgepyart is a god.

She takes the form of a small, confident turtle.

Dutgepyart created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dutgepyart, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dutgepyart, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dutgepyart's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dutgepyart's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Dutgepyart loves doves, so they must be respected.

3. Feed all hungry geese.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.