Barnmigquill is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-confident bird.

Barnmigquill created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnmigquill, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Barnmigquill, it will turn you into a sheep.

Barnmigquill's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Barnmigquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about black holes.