Dumloopflag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient crocodile.

Dumloopflag created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumloopflag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dumloopflag, it will have a low opinion of you.

Dumloopflag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dumloopflag's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Dumloopflag loves great tits, so they must be respected.

3. Never paint your head mauve.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Dumloopflag must be the most important thing in your life.