Wabhugtagtennartcib is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, selfish jaguar.

Wabhugtagtennartcib created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabhugtagtennartcib, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabhugtagtennartcib, it will torture you forever.

Wabhugtagtennartcib's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Wabhugtagtennartcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
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