Tigomtwat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, narcissistic giraffe.

Tigomtwat created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigomtwat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tigomtwat, he will turn you into a mole.

Tigomtwat's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tigomtwat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Put Tigomtwat first in all things.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Always obey Tigomtwat's priests.

5. Do not eat grapes.