Damhitzog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, loving clam.

Damhitzog created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Damhitzog, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Damhitzog, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Damhitzog's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Damhitzog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Damhitzog first in all things.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never bounce in the presence of ants.