Jamkon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, stupid ant.

Jamkon created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jamkon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jamkon, she will turn you into a goat.

Jamkon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jamkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Jamkon on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.