Kankopwitton is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic guinea pig.

Kankopwitton created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kankopwitton, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kankopwitton, she will turn you into a plant.

Kankopwitton's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Kankopwitton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never laugh near eagles.