Jatmobcan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet pig.

Jatmobcan created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatmobcan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatmobcan, he will turn you into a rat.

Jatmobcan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jatmobcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.