Dimbopjopfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful tortoise.

Dimbopjopfet created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Dimbopjopfet, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dimbopjopfet, it will jump up and down on your head.

Dimbopjopfet's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dimbopjopfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured capybaras.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Always treat doves with great respect.