Ontvolvol is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous ant.

Ontvolvol created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontvolvol, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ontvolvol, he will be very sad.

Ontvolvol's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Ontvolvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near squirrels.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.