Barntabnad Somfutdut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, humane bat.

Barntabnad Somfutdut created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barntabnad Somfutdut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barntabnad Somfutdut, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Barntabnad Somfutdut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Barntabnad Somfutdut's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Barntabnad Somfutdut.

2. Eagles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not take Barntabnad Somfutdut's name in vain.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about asteroids.