Wikstantif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate elephant.

Wikstantif created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikstantif, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wikstantif, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wikstantif's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wikstantif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always obey Wikstantif's priests.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.