Stertoncuss Funnulljadtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, temperamental squid.

Stertoncuss Funnulljadtetti created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stertoncuss Funnulljadtetti, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stertoncuss Funnulljadtetti, he will turn you into a plant.

Stertoncuss Funnulljadtetti's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Stertoncuss Funnulljadtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

5. Run away if seven frogs approach from the south.