Nulgebquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, duplicitous pigeon.

Nulgebquaf created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulgebquaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nulgebquaf, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Nulgebquaf's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nulgebquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Nulgebquaf on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Run away if six mites approach from the east.