Tommutjon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering goose.

Tommutjon created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tommutjon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tommutjon, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tommutjon's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tommutjon's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tommutjon.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.