Cunfumzog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome monkey.

Cunfumzog created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunfumzog, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cunfumzog, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cunfumzog's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cunfumzog's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never sit in the presence of mice.

3. Run away from orange sharks, for they are unholy.

4. You must pray to Cunfumzog five times a day.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cunfumzog.