Jarnnelomin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical meerkat.

Jarnnelomin created silver five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnnelomin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jarnnelomin, he will send minions to preach to you.

Jarnnelomin's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jarnnelomin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jarnnelomin.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Never write about cell theory.