Stikcanjonhatpak is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ruthless skunk.

Stikcanjonhatpak created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikcanjonhatpak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stikcanjonhatpak, he will throw large rocks at you.

Stikcanjonhatpak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Stikcanjonhatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to birds while wearing cyan jumpers.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never pour water over plants.