Tafcubbut is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, contented otter.

Tafcubbut created the Tadpole Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafcubbut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tafcubbut, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tafcubbut's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tafcubbut's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tafcubbut four times a day.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about ants.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.